Well, like lately, I’ve been catching my sister in her room making out with her Lady Gaga poster. As if she wants to have a “Bad Romance” with this transsexual individual named “Lady Gaga”. She has been drinking lately, and has been bringing girls home all hours of the night. I hear things, and I think I may be mentally disturbed. I find bloody tampons ALL over the place, including our refrigerator. Which, I am worried because my tuna sandwich is starting the smell like I shot a moose and shoved it in a tanning bed to dry. The reason I would be concerned about all this, well, because she’s my sister. Also, the fact that she is seven.