Okay, so my Grandads an Elvis impersonater so she says it’s in her blood! But she wears all the costumes all the time! She wore a freaking Kermit the frog dress to my swimming meet! It’s not fair! She hires herself out to teen parties where she lipsyncs the songs!
Next week is my birthday and she wants to do a show as Lady Gaga! She’s gonna wear a meat dress! The reason she thinks it’s okay is that every year my Grandad “surprises” me by seranading me as Elvis! But even he’s smart enough to do that BEFORE the guests arrive!!!! HELP?!

I need to know how I can make sure that none of my real friends see my Mom perform, could I maybe invite the nerds, geeks and freaks I don’t like to a pre party where my Mom would perform then invite all the cool kids to my house for after she sings?

Maybe I could pretend to be really unpopular and no one shows up get her to take off the outfit then my friends arrive when it’s too late for her to sing?

What do you think?